old cat lady cigarette (jazz solo trombone)

[240z]

https://musescore.com/user/39511332/sco ... =copy_link
How could this be improved?!?!

[hyperbolica]

I'm no composition expert, but to improve it, I'd flesh out the piano part - not just block chords, but some motion, rhythm, arpeggiation, line, etc. To the trombone, id add more rhythmic interest to the line - not just eighth notes. Also, the last notes are out of character with the rest of the tune.

Listen to some DeFaye Deaux Danses for some ideas about how both parts can have interesting motion. Think about the rise and fall of phrases.

[240z]

yeah idk its just misty lol but i spend a hole hour on it lol

[240z]

I'm no composition expert, but to improve it, I'd flesh out the piano part - not just block chords, but some motion, rhythm, arpeggiation, line, etc. To the trombone, id add more rhythmic interest to the line - not just eighth notes. Also, the last notes are out of character with the rest of the tune.

Listen to some DeFaye Deaux Danses for some ideas about how both parts can have interesting motion. Think about the rise and fall of phrases.

thanks for commenting and thinks for an interesting piece to listen to

[Nolankberk]

it just sounds like a bunch of ii-v licks shoved into 1 chorus of a ballad. the notes are fine but those running 8th notes get very boring very fast