Finding Harmony After the Beans: A Trombonist's Journey Through Divorce

[alonetrombone]

In the delicate cadence of life's symphony, I found myself playing the role of both trombonist and divorced father of two. My name is Jack, and I've traversed the tumultuous waters of divorce with the trombone as my unwavering companion. As I share my story with you, it's important to understand the complex melody of my life, intertwined with the sour notes of a dish called Wet Beans.

Deb, my former wife, was the cornerstone of our family. Her love for Wet Beans was unparalleled, and it became the centerpiece of many family gatherings. Little did I know that these beans, seemingly innocuous, would become the catalyst for discord in our marriage.

As Deb's obsession with Wet Beans grew, so did the distance between us. What started as a harmless culinary preference soon consumed her every thought and action. Our conversations became dominated by discussions of Wet Beans and their purported health benefits.

At first, I tried to embrace Deb's passion, hoping it was just a phase. However, as the aroma of Wet Beans filled our home day in and day out, I realized that our relationship was simmering, too, with resentment and frustration.

The breaking point came one evening when I returned home to find our kitchen transformed into a makeshift Wet Bean laboratory. Deb stood amidst a sea of cans and pots, her eyes alight with fervor and gumption. It was then that I knew our marriage had reached its crescendo.

In the aftermath of our divorce, the trombone became my refuge—a sanctuary where emotions found expression and wounds began to heal. Its mournful strains echoed the melancholy of lost love and the hope of new beginnings.

Navigating life as a divorced father has its challenges. Balancing the demands of parenting with the echoes of a broken marriage requires a delicate dance—a rhythm I'm still learning to master. Yet, with each note played, I find solace in the knowledge that music transcends the boundaries of pain and loss.

As I look back on the tumultuous journey that brought me here, I find peace in the melodies of tomorrow. The symphony of life continues, and though the Wet Beans may have soured our past, they cannot dictate the cadence of our future.

To my fellow trombonists navigating the complexities of divorce, I offer this: Embrace the music. Let its harmonies guide you through the discordant notes of separation and renewal. For in the melody of life, there is always hope, always healing, and always the promise of a brighter tomorrow.

As I raise my trombone to the sky, I'm reminded that though our paths may diverge, the music we create will always be our shared legacy—a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, the enduring power of love, and my enduring disdain for Deb's Wet Beans.

[hyperbolica]

Can we get an AI plugin to filter the AI experiments?

[alonetrombone]

That's not very kind dude, i'm just trying to share my story

[Kingfan]

What are Wet Beans?

[DougHulme]

Thats a good question - I was thinking it must be a US thing?... Doug

[harrisonreed]

They aren't a thing. This is an AI bot. Or the ravings of a madman. Compare to the Loud mouthpiece Manifesto.

[hyperbolica]

And who left who? He left her because of the obsession with "wet beans" or did she leave him because of his obsession with trombone? Doesn't add up. They learned not to say anything AIish on a first post, thus the first inane post. They learned to play on emotions because humans are susceptible to a sob story from a sympathetic source. And the user name choice... the whole registration was leading to this. "Dry beans" are a thing, right? So "Wet beans" must also be a thing? Google it and tell me "wet beans" is a thing.

[DougHulme]

So is AI capable of replying "That's not very kind dude, i'm just trying to share my story" without any human pushing the buttons on an app? Just curious... Doug

[hyperbolica]

So is AI capable of replying "That's not very kind dude, i'm just trying to share my story" without any human pushing the buttons on an app? Just curious... Doug

Regardless of what else has gone on with the account, the story is AI. It could be that there's some guy posting crap out of AI, and then making a real post. It just doesn't pass the sniff test. It's probably someone test posting or trying to feed/train AI some obscure corner of real experience to see how believable it can get.

I own and administer a separate phpbb forum, and I delete 80% of new registrations. There are ways to tell. Even with the "I'm not a robot" and capcha and responding to an email, questions, and spam databases, bots still get through the registration hoops. Even with all of that, sometimes I still get AIed, but its often more in the lines of advertising. What's more inane, AI text or marketing speak? Tough question, but neither of them sounds like how humans speak to one another. It's not an English as second language thing.

[DougHulme]

I suppose I should draw consolation from the fact that it is still (at the moment) human led/controlled and at the moment you say you can tell 80% of the time but soon, as AI gets smarter, will we be able to distinguish at all - thats frightening... meanwhile I'll just go and check my wife isnt cooking wet beans!.. Doug

[Posaunus]

Please lock this thread and delete this user.

[ngrinder]

bonetard, is that you?

[tbdana]

I actually like Wet Beans as a metaphor for a trombone addiction or any other addiction that affects a marriage. It just wasn't carried through very well.

[Kingfan]

I like the broth made from a certain kind of bean, roasted and ground then wetted with hot water!

[harrisonreed]

So is AI capable of replying "That's not very kind dude, i'm just trying to share my story" without any human pushing the buttons on an app? Just curious... Doug

Absolutely. You should try GPT4 or any of the AI models that are free. They are much more human feeling than this OP, if it was written by a human or otherwise.

Something about the OP is "off" to me.

[Nolankberk]

I'm pretty sure this is just a troll given his profile description and comments about Elton john

[JohnL]

Metaphor aside, I'm curious as to what, exactly, are/is "Wet Beans". All I can come up with is that it's an alternative term for canned beans (as opposed to dry beans).

It kinda sounds like a story treatment for a sitcom. Then again, sometimes a person's life does resemble a sitcom. Back when the show Friends premiered, I was working with a guy whose wife had recently left him for another woman...

[DougHulme]

So John, does that mean Wet Beans is some sort of code within the LGBTQ movement... Joey from Friends would be proud if it was!.. Doug

[cb56]

Good thing you got out of that marriage before someone lit a match...

[atopper333]

Wet beans, in this particular story, could make sense if intended as a euphemism for a certain green leafy substance…

[harrisonreed]

Kale? Kale is a point of contention in my marriage. Kale belongs on the ice in the salad bar at Pizza Hut Buffet, as garnish for the actual salad items.

[atopper333]

Kale should cause contention in any marriage…a garnish for garnish…truly disappointing…

[Doug Elliott]

Massage your kale with olive oil. And that's a real thing, not a euphamism.

[bitbckt]

This guy kales.

[atopper333]

Massage your kale with olive oil. And that's a real thing, not a euphamism.

[officermayo]

Wet Beans is when a cat steps in water.

[alonetrombone]

They aren't a thing. This is an AI bot. Or the ravings of a madman. Compare to the Loud mouthpiece Manifesto.

Hi! This is John again everyone.

I would like it to state for the record that I am NOT an AI Bot or a "mad man." Although I enjoy that TV show, despite there being limited-if-any amount of Trombones featured. It is more about cigarettes and misogny and cheating on your wife in my opinion.

What would you even have to type into an AI to get it to generate this article? "Please write a post for Trombone Chat from the perspective of a divorced man named John, whose ex wife is named Deb. They divorced after Deb created an elaborate and makeshift laboratory in their shared kitchen to make an exorbitant amount of her favourite food "Wet Beans" which she grew more and more obsessed with until it ruined their lives ---- ???????

I lived it!!!

Respectfully, with kindness: what kind of an absolute loony tune of a person would do that. I may be many things: divorced, slowly repairing my kitchen, balding, a fan of both Miff Mole and Slide Hampton ... but i am no Daffy Duck.

Thank you sir and good day.

With love,
John

[alonetrombone]

Thats a good question - I was thinking it must be a US thing?... Doug

Sadly I know the recipe off by heart...

Wet Beans

Ingredients:

2 cups of cooked pinto beans (or any beans of your choice)
1 onion, diced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 bell pepper, diced
2 tomatoes, diced
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon cumin powder
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon chili powder (adjust to taste)
Salt to taste
1/2 cup vegetable broth or water
2 tablespoons mustard (yellow or Dijon, based on preference)
2 tablespoons custard powder (secret ingredient)
Fresh cilantro for garnish (optional)
Sour cream or yogurt for serving (optional)
Instructions:

Heat olive oil in a large skillet or pan over medium heat.

Add diced onion and minced garlic to the skillet. Sauté until the onions are translucent and fragrant, about 3-4 minutes.

Add diced bell pepper to the skillet and cook for another 2-3 minutes until the pepper softens slightly.

Stir in the diced tomatoes and cook for another 2-3 minutes until they begin to break down and release their juices.

Add the cooked pinto beans to the skillet. Stir well to combine with the vegetables.

Season the mixture with cumin powder, paprika, chili powder, and salt according to your taste preferences. Stir to coat the beans and vegetables evenly with the spices.

Pour in the vegetable broth or water to create a "wet" consistency for the beans. Allow the mixture to simmer for 5-7 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the flavors meld together and the beans are heated through.

In a separate bowl, mix together the mustard and custard powder until well combined.

Add the mustard-custard mixture to the skillet with the beans and vegetables. Stir gently to incorporate the flavors and thicken the sauce. Allow it to simmer for an additional 2-3 minutes until the custard is fully integrated and the sauce thickens slightly.

Taste and adjust the seasoning if needed. If you prefer a thicker consistency, you can mash some of the beans with the back of a spoon.

Once the beans are cooked to your desired consistency and the sauce has thickened, remove the skillet from heat.

Serve the Wet Beans hot, garnished with fresh cilantro if desired. You can also serve it with a dollop of sour cream or yogurt on top for added creaminess.

[harrisonreed]

They aren't a thing. This is an AI bot. Or the ravings of a madman. Compare to the Loud mouthpiece Manifesto.

Respectfully, with kindness: what kind of an absolute loony tune of a person would do that. I may be many things: divorced, slowly repairing my kitchen, balding, a fan of both Miff Mole and Slide Hampton ... but i am no Daffy Duck.

I mean, back at you: what kind of cartoon would choose to post whatever that story was in a dramatic quasi-poetic format to introduce themselves on a chat forum about the trombone? And forget that their name is actually Jack? You've got to be absolutely kidding!

Like, "Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Harry and I've been playing the trombone for 26 years"

What the heck are "wet beans"?

[atopper333]

Is it Jack or John…if I wasn’t confused enough already…

Maybe another candidate for a thread lock?

[alonetrombone]

I mean, back at you: what kind of cartoon would choose to post whatever that story was in a dramatic quasi-poetic format to introduce themselves on a chat forum about the trombone? And forget that their name is actually Jack? You've got to be absolutely kidding!

Like, "Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Harry and I've been playing the trombone for 26 years"

What the heck are "wet beans"?

ah i apologise: The name Jack is a derivative of John, which originated in medieval England. The name over the years went from John to Johnkin to Jankin to Jackin to, you guessed it, Jack. My given name is John but it is used interchangeably and colloquially with Jack in my family.

I have posted the recipe for Wet Beans above. I just wanted to share my story with my fellow trombone enthusiasts but I can see that my gesture of friendship has been misinterpreted

my introduction to the forum was actually last year when I posted on this thread viewtopic.php?t=32961

[harrisonreed]

https://www.verywellfamily.com/jack-nam ... energy.%22

[atopper333]

https://www.verywellfamily.com/jack-nam ... energy.%22

Case closed….

[Posaunus]

"Jack",

You may enjoy trying to lead us along, but I think I can speak for the majority of us real trombonists:
I've had it!

This site is a welcome haven for those of us who love the trombone, and want to learn from or advise each other about our musical knowledge and experiences, sell or trade our tromboniana, or even swap a few personal stories and jokes. But we do not invite trolls who are only here to amuse themselves at our expense.

By the way, as a former college professor, I'd give your "John" and "Deb" Wet Beans story a C- in creative writing.
Or perhaps an F for plagiarism!

Please climb back up your beanstalk and disappear!

Moderators?

[ghmerrill]

So is AI capable of replying "That's not very kind dude, i'm just trying to share my story"

Yeah, basically since the mid-1960s: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ELIZA#:~: ... 20machines.

[DougHulme]

You live and you learn (now I sound like AI!)... Doug (Eliza)

[ghmerrill]

But this is not an AI, if only because of

"despite there being limited-if-any amount of Trombones featured"

in the context of the rest of it -- unless the creators have made staggering strides in their NLP training methods specifically to give the appearance of infrequent human error in language use. That's possible, of course, at this point of development, but I doubt it. AIs can now pass the Turing test, but this would go way beyond that.

[hyperbolica]

This is likely a hybrid situation where a misdirected human cut-and-pasted and maybe edited to some extent AI spew. It doesn't really matter, just that this shouldn't be allowed to remain on this forum. It sets the wrong precedent. We responded to it and left it up, so "they" will be back. On my phpb forum, the user account plus the post get deleted at first hint.

[CharlieB]

Hopefully, one of the moderators will delete this entire grandiloquent thread.
It is totally irrelevant and unrelated to the "trombone" purpose of TromboneChat.

[ghmerrill]

One thing that everyone has overlooked is the possibility of rationality behind this whole "wet beans" episode -- although that rationality may have been carried over the edge. No one (including the original poster) has raised the question of WHY his wife went down the wet bean trail -- and with such commitment and fervor. And if we reread the first few paragraphs (the only ones devoted to wet bean behavior description and analysis), we really should wonder "What was driving this woman?" I pretty much blew by this myself until I looked at it again this morning, and I suspect that there may have been a very good reason for the wet bean commitment. So, in that context, and pardon the speculation, but that's what we're all doing here ...

I can tell you that my wife (of 49 years) is heavily into a "wet beans" (or legumes, or whatever) approach -- fully endorsed by her (female, by the way) cardiologists -- in order to avoid an alternative that would involve additional medications or higher doses for treating genetically related high cholesterol. It really works -- but does involve brewing and consuming a fairly large cauldron of bean/legume soup (or mush) on a 2-week revolving basis. I find the stuff to be disgusting and have some mild fear of the cauldron squatting in the refrigerator, but it's really working for her. She wants to minimize (or delay) medications at this point in life. I, on the other hand, am perfectly content to reap the benefits of Repatha for my own relatively (again, non-weight-related) relatively minor cholesterol issues. Cardiologists have pretty clear guidelines nowadays for preventing you from dying from heart attack or stroke -- and, yes, that may involve wet beans. So different people have different requirements and different reasonable choices.

Possibly the "wet beans" situation in this case is not driven by any kind of nuttiness and was a long term approach to health, accelerated by increasing age. We all change as we age, and some surprising things may drive us apart. Some of them are quirky and nutty; some of them are not. Just a thought -- assuming we're not dealing with a REALLY good AI here.

[tbdana]

Well, I guess it's only fair. We spend so much time proving to bots that we're human, I suppose it's inevitable that we accuse a human of being a bot.

Personally, I think this is the most entertaining thread on the forum today.

[ghmerrill]

Hopefully, one of the moderators will delete this entire grandiloquent thread.
It is totally irrelevant and unrelated to the "trombone" purpose of TromboneChat.

If it's related to how playing music -- and specifically playing trombone -- has helped a person in one of a variety of ways, then it is related to "trombone purpose" and falls under the idea of a "Tangent" forum. It's VERY difficult to start slicing and dicing topics in such a forum to suit everyone's idea of how broad or narrow the topics should be. This is hardly the only thread in TromboneChat related to how "psychology" or "mental health" or "happiness" may be related to playing trombone.

[henrysa]

The only way to settle this AI or not debacle is to have everybody post in audio/video form in their underwear like all my other chat rooms do.

[ghmerrill]

And you're confident those aren't AI postings?

[DougHulme]

Well its been entertaining and educational for me - the icing on the cake would be to find out definitevly whether its an AI or a divorced man!.. Doug

[ghmerrill]

And you've learned about Eliza. But better than that, I can provide you access to Eliza for any of your theraputic needs -- at no cost, of course:

https://psych.fullerton.edu/mbirnbaum/p ... /eliza.htm

... keeping in mind -- and as the Romans might have said -- Caveat usor. Also, as you engage with her more frequently and in more detail, you may get the feeling that although she's very responsive, she doesn't really care about you. But remember that she's a professional, and so you need to accept a certain degree of detachment.

She can also seem a little snotty at times:

* How can I improve my playing?
> Perhaps you don't want to improve your playing?
[ ... insert long pause here ...]
> I can't help you without a dialog!

But remember that this is just part of the technique she uses to help you.

[Doug Elliott]

Well its been entertaining and educational for me - the icing on the cake would be to find out definitevly whether its an AI or a divorced man!.. Doug

My guess would be "Yes" (to both).

[ithinknot]

Well its been entertaining and educational for me - the icing on the cake would be to find out definitevly whether its an AI or a divorced man!.. Doug

My guess would be "Yes" (to both).

Yup... left to their own devices, computers can hold their booze better than this

[harrisonreed]

And you've learned about Eliza. But better than that, I can provide you access to Eliza for any of your theraputic needs -- at no cost, of course:

https://psych.fullerton.edu/mbirnbaum/p ... /eliza.htm

... keeping in mind -- and as the Romans might have said -- Caveat usor. Also, as you engage with her more frequently and in more detail, you may get the feeling that although she's very responsive, she doesn't really care about you. But remember that she's a professional, and so you need to accept a certain degree of detachment.

She can also seem a little snotty at times:

* How can I improve my playing?
> Perhaps you don't want to improve your playing?
[ ... insert long pause here ...]
> I can't help you without a dialog!

But remember that this is just part of the technique she uses to help you.

[DougHulme]

I think you must be right Doug. Surely the OP is either English as a second language or no English, or maybe poor English and he uses AI to write what he wants to say and copies and pastes it himself into each post? I think ghmerrill has put me on to the answer for the OP - he can remarry - but to Eliza! Surely AI couldnt cook Wet Beans? Please dont tell me theres a robot that..... Doug