Tell Your War Stories

[tbdana]

On being prompted by Harrison, I thought it might be fun to tell our war stories. So tell them here, about your pro gigs, community groups, schools and teachers, or any other trombone related stories. This has probably been done before here, but not recently, so let's go! One caveat: I think it might be wise not to use names in anything that could be controversial. I'll start:

In the end, this is actually about by father. But I was playing in a big band for this bandleader who was also a super famous drummer known for his temper. I had a solo every night, but one night the famous angry drummer bandleader was unhappy with my solo. After the gig, he screamed at me for 20 minutes on the bus, berating me, called me "amateur," said I played like a child, couldn't believe he had to pay me, used the f-word dozens of times, and threatened to fire me, etc., etc.

I endured it. But I was thinking, "life is too short for this," and did not care much about having the solo, so the next night I gave the solo to the other tenor trombone player, and he played it great! But after the gig the famous angry drummer bandleader screamed at me again on the bus for another 20 minutes, yelling things like who died and made me bandleader, and how that's MY solo, and that I have to play it, and how if I give that solo away again I'm gonna get fired, and how I should be a professional and not a petulant child whose feelings are hurt, and on and on.

That was my limit for abuse. When we got back to the hotel that night, I bought a one-way airplane ticket home for the next day, and told the band manager that I quit. The manager actually thanked me for telling him, saying that most people simply don't show up to the bus in the morning and that I was super professional for giving him 12 hours notice. LOL!

Here's where it gets about my dad. When I got home, the next day was Easter and I went to our family gathering where my father then laid into me for being irresponsible for quitting a steady gig. In the midst of his rant the phone rang, and it was another famous bandleader calling to ask if I could fly out and join that band for their tour. Well, this next famous bandleader was a favorite of my father's, so in the space of about 5 minutes I went from my dad berating me for being irresponsible to him bragging that he was proud of me and how he was going to brag to his friends that I now play for this other famous bandleader. Yeah, my family is...complicated.

Your turn.

[chouston3]

After my senior year of high school our youth orchestra went on a tour of Spain. They really packed it in. We were playing at least one performance per day plus walking all over the place seeing the sights.
Towards the end of the tour everyone was exhausted. We were playing a concert for a bunch of kids and the whole low brass section fell asleep. I remember dreaming about the piece and marveling at how accurate the dream was. I heard in my dream people flubbing notes and all kinds of random inconsistencies that do not normally show up in a dream. Then the trombone entrance came and went and the trombones did not come in. That was when I realized I was on stage and I woke up. I hit the guy next to me and the slaps went all the way down the line. We got it together and played the rest of the piece. Nobody said a word about it after the concert. We just got on the bus, went back to the hotel, and crashed.

[harrisonreed]

I was in Mongolia a few years ago, on tour with a NOLO style brass band. It was an amazing experience and the capital city, Ulanbaatur, is one of the most unique places I've ever been. The city has crazy traffic with zero traffic laws, everything is in Cyrillic writing, the roads leading out of town often become grass trails through the steppe as soon as you hit the city limit. The city seems like it would be scary because the infrastructure is dated and I couldn't read or understand anything, but anywhere you go inside is clean, modern, and the people were so nice.

Our brass band joined forces with their National Big Band. It wasn't a military organization, but instead it was kind of like their National Symphony, but as a big band. They played this awesome mix of what sounds like big band music, but with traditional Mongolian singing. The trombone players could really play!

Anyone who knows me knows that I have no business improvising solos, and while I can hold down a lead part and play high, clear, and loud, my improv is laughable. So I write out solos ahead of time and memorize them. It's a lot of fun, and I get away with it, exactly one time per chart.

Well we do the rehearsal and hit some chart called Frankenstein and I bust out my fake solo. The lead Mongolian guy is like, "damn, how did you pull that nasty solo out of thin air? We gotta go hang after and you can jam with us at the jazz club". I know better, so I just stayed non-committal but thanked him for the compliment. By the final run through he realized the ruse. We hung out but my trombone stayed in the hotel room haha.

The concert was nuts, all fire codes broken, lots of smoking in the theater, people sitting on the stairs, blocking all the exits. A huge cultural exchange that I will never forget.

The rest of my trip in Mongolia was on an ancient Soviet train, involved a lot of grilled lamb, playing a show on the border of Russia, playing another show on an island in the middle of an old Quarry turned dump turned art revival camp, and also involved a lot of horse cheese, horse milk, and horse beer (you don't even want to know). The country is massively long east to west, but only has one time zone so the sun stayed out until nearly midnight. Highly recommend, 10/10. It was incredible.

[Doug Elliott]

Several years ago my wife got a call from a chamber music friend, asking if she'd be interested in doing a tour of China with an orchestra from New York. She said no. I said "are you crazy, ask if they need a trombone player." They did. So we went to China for about 3 weeks, December into January. I took a straight .547 because it fit in a very small gig bag (separate bell and slide cases), and took it on every flight with no problems. I actually got pretty good at William Tell. One of the other trombone players was a juggler in the Flying Karamazov Brothers, and the other is a high profile lawyer.

[MStarke]

- Played a new music gig around 20 years ago. Dozens of pianos and grand pianos spread over a cemetery and being tortured with hammers and other tools, multiple instrumental groups playing some cluster style sounds, a handful of solo improvisers inbetween
- Nice gig in Berlin including the Zarathustra fanfare and Bolero. 1st trombone was played by a great player that I had known already much longer, great to sit right next to him and hear im play. 1st trumpet was played by a GREAT player somehow known for being a slightly difficult character. A) He played on a Monette style heavy American B trumpet if I remember correctly. Perfect and incredibly loud Zarathustra B) The pro trumpet players besides him got extremely nervous besides him and hardly got through their parts in Bolero
- Played Bruckner 9th in the orchestra of my music university back then. In our sectional rehearsals we were told to play the end of the first movement sounding "like German tanks". Not surprisingly the orchestra conductor was not amused after the first run. The professor emeritus (is that how you say it in English?) back then actually told quite some stories - much worse than this - that cannot really be repeated in public
- A very memorable time overall was subbing with a smaller opera and symphony orchestra for quite some time at the beginning of my studies. One of the trumpet players seemingly drank his first beers already before his morning warmup which was one hour of the same stuff over and over again. One of the singers who had a leading role in La Boheme was very recognizable by her cat-like voice. She must have had some special relations in order to get that part. But overall it was a great time. Very nice section.
- I played at the re-opening of a well-known concert hall. A very popular singer was part of the concert and obviously had some doubles running around. It seemed to us that he may actually have never been on stage, but that he stayed at the bar the whole time and had his doubles take over

[MStarke]

tbdana, that story totally fits into some other stories I heard about a specific drummer/band leader.

harrisonreed: Fascinating! During my studies I had some friends from Mongolia, but unfortunately didn't use the chance to get to know more about their country.

[Doug Elliott]

Adding to my previous China tour story. My wife is a bass player. All the basses and cellos had instruments supplied for the concerts, so they didn't have to take their own instruments. Most of the time they were student level instruments that totally sucked. Many of the players brought their own strings and had to change them for each concert. Sometimes the instruments were barely playable.

Years before that I did a tour of Taiwan with the Artie Shaw band. A professional upright bass was supposed to be supplied. For the first gig they had an electric bass - our bass player didn't play electric. They finally got an upright. The strings were wound onto the tuning mechanism the wrong direction.

And you think we have problems....

[Mertelstein]

Not my story (there are plenty but the best come from my Dad) but there is a very well known story on the U.K. circuit about about a chap who was asked to play the Euphonium part in the “Bydlo” movement of Ravel’s orchestration of Mussorgsky’s “Pictures from an Exhibition”.

Said player did the dress rehearsal, then (as is expected) went to the pub. At some point much later one of his drinking buddies asked him why he was in full dress for a concert at which point said player panicked and ran to the Festival Hall. Luckily he made it in time for the interval when PfaE was in the second half. Unfortunately it was a champagne reception at the interval to celebrate some anniversary - no food, just booze. Said player indulged then went in to play the second half. Allegedly he played the whole part a fourth out and then passed out in his chair. He was woken up for the applause at which point he stood up and raised the Euphonium over his head in triumph, and then fell back asleep.

Like many stories I’m pretty sure this has been embellished throughout the years. I’ve always wondered whether there was a kernel of truth at the bottom of it however. Given my old experience of the U.K. (and particularly the London) scene it would not surprise me…

[KingThings]

Vancouver BC, Act ! Romeo and Juliet, sword fight scene (with real foils, blunted ends) one of the swords broke during the duel and the metal foil flew high in the air and landed dangerously in the brass section. Luckily no one was impaled, and the audience thought it was just a normal part of the show. The opera singers improvised an end to duel with the protagonist using the blunted handle to somehow win....which of course, didn't read well at all, but the audience seemed to buy it. The brass section was alive and the only casualties were the sword and couple of missed notes.

[imsevimse]

On one occasion, I subbed in for a big band that was performing a concert in memory of a highly talked-about Sinatra concert in Saltsjöbaden, Stockholm. One of the few professional bands had been hired, and they needed a third trombonist, so I was asked. Naturally I was nervous to play with some of the old legends, the best musicians around Stockholm. In this band, one of my role models played first trombone. I had played with him a few times before and was well aware of the rumors about his bad temper and ability to make people uncomfortable. We were ushered into a cold room with a balcony door wide open. I picked up my trombone and played an initial long note. The first trombonist was in the room and turned angrily towards me, exclaiming, 'You're sharp, you "f*", you're squeezing, just like N N.'
I didn't know what to say. He had perfect pitch so he was probably right, but that was instead of saying 'Hi'. Anyway, I didn't play any more notes as long as he was in the room.
He had dismissed both me and another of my role models with just one comment, the one I was substituting for. Then the singer, another legend, a highly respected Swedish jazz vocalist, entered the room and asked if anyone could tell him where the bathroom was located. Someone explained, and he left the room, at which point the trombonist spoke up loudly enough, 'Anyone know where the bathroom is?' then pinching his nose with his thumb and forefinger, he imitated a nasal voice, 'Hey, gonna get those polyps removed, you know.'
He was a fantastic trombonist but a very quirky person. I didn't say anything to him for the rest of the evening to avoid further confrontation. We met a few more times, about ten in total including a tour, and he was nicer on other occasions, but this was one of the first encounters. One might think that in order to play beautifully, one must also be a pleasant and wonderful person, and that somehow they are connected. No, they're not.

/Tom

[tbdana]

I was in a big band backing up NOLA trumpet legend Al Hirt (known as "Jumbo" by the band members). This is the story as told by bass trombonist, Rich Bullock, who remembered it better than I did:

"We were on a four week run at The Diplomat Hotel in Hollywood FL. On one of the show days, Jumbo had been out boating with some local dignitaries and the booze was flowing freely (surprise, surprise!). The up and down motion of the boat aggravated his back pain to the point he took pain meds…and you know what they say about mixing booze and meds! Well, that night backstage before the show, band manager/saxophonist Al Belletto was looking quite alarmed, saying, “Ooooohhhh boy…” I think we all knew something was up.

"On the opening number, Jumbo headed onto the stage up the stairs by me…or tried to, at least. He tripped and fell headlong into my music stand, nearly knocking it over. His valet Herman helped him up and to the front of the stage while drummer Sol Gubin frantically called “Back to the top! One, two, three, four!” Jumbo finally made it to the mic, but could barely make it through any of the tunes. After that, and one particularly tasteless joke, the audience members started leaving…one lady stopped by the bandstand and said to me, “You all (the band) were great, but HIM???” The show came to an early close and the late show was of course cancelled. I figured we were all going to be on our way home [to New Orleans] at that point, but somehow the show went on and we finished the run."

My memory of it is that somehow Rich, while he was supposed to be playing, reached out and caught Jumbo as he was falling, and that he did in fact wipe out Rich's music stand and the music went flying. But also that somehow Rich's horn made it through unscathed.

Good times. LOL!

[GabrielRice]

I was hired by one of Boston's top contractors for a one-day hit at the Wang Center, the biggest theater in town. All I knew was that it was some sort of R&B show and that I should bring all my mutes.

I got there early for the rehearsal and warmed up a bit downstairs, and a few minutes later in walked another bass trombonist, who was typically called before me by this contractor. "Nice to see you!" I said, "what are we both doing here?"

He explained that he had gotten a call from the contractor asking his advice, because the producer had asked him to hire two "baritone trombone players." He tried to explain that there's tenor trombone and bass trombone, but no such thing as baritone trombone, but the producer wouldn't listen. My friend said, OK...hire two bass trombonists! He had just come back from a tour to Japan and his back was all screwed up, so he appointed me "principal bass trombone" to play all the high parts.

When the time came for rehearsal to start, we went upstairs to find that there was music trickling onto the stands one chart at a time, some of it clearly fresh off the printer. Also, they were busy sound-checking multiple drumkits, so the band just sat on stage waiting to be asked to play. The charts we were getting were in various stages of editing - or not. We had trombone parts in treble clef in trumpet register, and we had full pages of unconsolidated rests.

Once we finally started rehearsing, it was clear that the guy in charge of running our rehearsal was not really in control of the situation. He did the best he could, but charts were incomplete, full of mistakes, etc. We did two overtimes before our local contractor told them he had to release us to get some dinner before the show and that we would be able to sight-read anything they put on the stand. I ran home to get a tenor (some of my parts were HIGH!) and a quick bite, and then came back for the show.

It turned out to be a revue of B- C- and D-list R&B acts from the 60s and 70s, and Isaac Hayes was the host/emcee. Some of the acts had their own rhythm section, some didn't. We got to intermission without any major snafus, and the first set after intermission was supposed to be Hayes' own. He came out, faced the band, called a tune, and we all shuffled through all the music left on our stands - couldn't find it. His charts were never passed out. He went offstage, I assume he fired somebody, and then he came back, sat down at the keyboard, and started playing a riff. Our rhythm section picked it up, and after a few cycles our keyboard player took over. He stood up and did his act for the audience, stretching out that one tune by rapping, telling a story, etc.

The show went on, I think we had another overtime, and then we were dismissed while there were still some bands left to play.

The theater was totally packed and the audience loved every minute.

[Burgerbob]

I played Janacek Sinfionetta with an orchestra a while back on euphonium. You play at the beginning and the end of the piece, and we stood behind the orchestra in the choir seats to play. The rest of the time we sat and listened to great music!

When we stood to play at the end, the spit valve on my euphonium caught my pants pocket and pulled the tuning slide all the way out. It almost fell to the floor. The conductor was already giving the upbeat before our very important entrance- I managed to wriggle in the tuning slide to just the right spot, breathe, and somehow play my first note with no issues in the space of maybe 2 counts. Talk about an adrenaline rush to polish off the concert!

This was an especially interesting run for me, as I showed up to a Sunday matinee in my tuxedo. I was hanging around backstage with some of the other brass, and I (too) slowly realized everyone was wearing black shirts and jackets- not tuxedos. In a huge fit of luck, my wife works at this orchestra and happened to be at the concert- she ran home for me and grabbed my black outfit just in time for me to jump into it and get on stage for the Janacek. Forever indebted to her for that moment, and big lesson learned about reading VERY carefully the dress codes for EVERY date, not just the first one mentioned.

[Posaunus]

My most embarrassing moment:
Full orchestra concert. Principal trombone. Wanted everything to be perfect, so that afternoon gave my trombone a bath and full hygiene treatment. Dried it all out, and encased the trombone. Oops - forgot to pack the slide; left it on the counter. Arrived backstage and realized that I had no slide!

Nothing else to do but to go home and retrieve my slide. I drove the ~15 miles each way in about 10 minutes (literally) on an empty rural freeway. I had no idea my car could travel that fast. Got back to the concert hall and slipped unobtrusively (?) in to my seat shortly after the beginning of the concert (Mozart Magic Flute overture, I think). Within 30 minutes, my heart rate decreased to somewhere near normal.

Do I now check that all is assembled, and dress is correct (bow tie in my tux pocket!), before I leave the house for a concert? You bet!

[tbdana]

LITERAL war story:

Even though I was a trombonist, in the military they made me play Taps on a bugle for military funerals. It was Vietnam, and my job was to stand on a hill among the tombstones waiting for my cue, watching an endless parade of identical flag-draped caskets and identical ceremonies, day after day, sometimes multiple times per day, seemingly forever. Only the sobbing, grieving families changed. There would be the gun salute, and then I would play Taps. It's the most pressure on a gig I ever felt, because I wanted to get it exactly right for the endless procession of grieving families, and I wasn't even a trumpet player. I did so many of those identical funerals it became overwhelming and oppressive, and gave me nightmares. You can only deal with so much endless tragedy and grief without it affecting you. I still have those nightmares, sometimes, to this day.

[2bobone]

"You can only deal with so much endless tragedy and grief without it affecting you. I still have those nightmares, sometimes, to this day."

When I was in The U.S. Army Band at Fort Myer, VA [adjacent to Arlington National Cemetery], I was in the "concert" band. A regular group of Army musicians comprised the "Boneyard" band. I'm respectful of the work they did, day in and day out in all kinds of weather so please don't misconstrue my reference to the "Boneyard" band as lighthearted banter. I only mention it as it was their way of coping with the mental stress that the members of that band encountered on a daily basis. Their black, graveyard humor was necessary for them to keep their solemn role in perspective as they trod the pathways of Arlington Cemetery with a Courtage of splendidly outfitted soldiers and the coffin caisson drawn by elegant equines ---- these were NOT just horses ! Definitely a hero's burial --- every time. I saw the effect of this stress over the several years during which I was a member of TUSAB. A few took to drink in excess, others tried drugs but in every case I watched wonderful musical talent get flushed down the toilet. I was fortunate to only have had to participate in one such funeral as a substitute for an ailing bandsman but the experience definitely made a mark.
So --- to '"tbdana" ---- don't think of the sadness of the task you were assigned to do but rather think of the importance of the support you offered to the survivors. They needed you and you met the challenge. My respect !

[claf]

Trumpet war story here.

A few years ago I had a concert with my symphony orchestra as principal trumpet. Venue was a very cold church for christmas (minus 5 °C outside, hardly above 0 inside).
After 2 tunes with trumpet, there was a long tune with only strings and woodwinds (20 minutes long), then a few speeches before starting the second part of the concert (we usually do first half classical and second part pops).

Opening tune of the second part was the theme from the Godfather, starting on solo trumpet.
Of course, with such a temperature and cooling time, I cracked the entrance note, but caught up for the second note (no idea to this day how I had the nerves to succeed it).
But the worst part is when the strings started at the end of the solo: my trumpet and me played everything half a step too low!!!

Next time I'll ask for a reference note or use a tuner on my music stand...

[Finetales]

I've had some bad and wild gigs, but the story I always think of for prompts like this is an extracurricular performance during my undergrad.

When I was at Indiana University, every Sunday afternoon there would be an ad hoc orchestra concert in the old Recital Hall. These were entirely student-run and organized/conducted by a conductor grad student, and approved/scheduled by the school. Usually you'd have a rehearsal or two on weeknights, and then do the concert that Sunday. The only payment was some pizza afterwards, but all of the top orchestra players at the school always did them because it was fun and we got to play great rep with our friends. I don't know if they still do them, but these "Ad Hocs" were a staple when I was there and I played in many.

Anyway, one time we were doing an ad hoc with a violin concerto (can't remember which) and the finale from Dvorak 9 on the program, in that order. The orchestra was stacked, including the trombones, and the rehearsals sounded great. The trombones only played on the Dvorak and the violin concerto was long, so we were offstage at the beginning of the concert. The two tenor trombonists left to go play duets while we waited, while I decided to hang around and listen to the violin concerto from the other side of the stage door since I had nothing else to do.

So you can imagine my shock and horror when after the orchestra finished tuning and the conductor took his bow, they started playing...the finale to Dvorak 9???

We learned after that the conductor decided, ON STAGE, to switch the order and do the Dvorak first. The brass players tried frantically to alert him that the trombones weren't there, but I guess in his nervousness the conductor just went ahead anyway. So they just...played the entire finale without trombones. The big heroic melody in octaves at the end? Silence. It was just the full orchestra doing the accompaniment hits with nothing on top of them. There was no chance I could have ran in and tried to get to my chair as the orchestra was packed in very tight in that hall, so I had no choice but to just stand in horror and listen to the orchestra play without us. The two tenor players returned after I texted them what was happening, and the 3 of us spent the rest of the piece absolutely freaking out.

Afterwards, the conductor came out and apologized while trying to console us, but it sure didn't work!

[tbdana]

Very short story and three lessons:

Between sets at the now defunct Donte's jazz club, Watrous took me out into the parking lot to get stoned. That night I learned three things: (1) I cannot play stoned, and I was stupid to try it when playing with world class musicians in front of a sophisticated audience; (2) Watrous inexplicably sounded just as good stoned as straight, yet another thing he could do that I could not; and (3) I needed to grow a backbone and learn to resist peer pressure when it affects my performance. A humiliating evening that I still remember decades later, and likely will forever. I made so many mistakes and had such poor judgment.

The End

[alonetrombone]

Title: The Trombonist's Valor: A Unique Weapon in the Gulf War

Hello everyone,

I want to share a gripping story from my time in the Gulf War. As a trombonist in a special brigade, I found myself in the midst of combat, where the unexpected happened—a moment where my trombone became an unconventional weapon, instrumental in saving a comrade's life.

Imagine this: amidst the chaos of war, with gunfire rattling and explosions thundering, I stood with my trombone in hand, an unlikely implement on the battlefield.

In a pivotal moment, tragedy struck. A fellow soldier lay wounded, exposed to enemy fire. With split-second intuition, I grasped my trombone and, in an act of desperation, used it as a physical means of defense.

The brass instrument became an extension of my resolve as I swung it, striking out against the encroaching enemy forces. The clang of metal meeting metal echoed amidst the chaos, momentarily halting the advance and allowing us the critical time needed to evacuate our injured comrade to safety.

In that moment, the trombone transcended its role as a musical instrument, becoming a symbol of courage and defiance. Though I may be just a trombonist, in that instance, I fought as a warrior.

This experience illuminated a profound truth: amidst the turmoil of war, amidst the brutality of conflict, innovation and adaptability are paramount. The trombone, an unexpected weapon, became a beacon of hope in the darkest of hours.

Here's to the trombone, not just a tool of music, but a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It reminds us that even in the face of adversity, creativity knows no bounds.

Keep playing, friends. You never know when your instrument might become your most powerful ally.

Stay safe, and let the echoes of defiance reverberate through the chaos.

[heldenbone]

"You can only deal with so much endless tragedy and grief without it affecting you. I still have those nightmares, sometimes, to this day."

So --- to '"tbdana" ---- don't think of the sadness of the task you were assigned to do but rather think of the importance of the support you offered to the survivors. They needed you and you met the challenge. My respect !

Indeed. I experienced this support when my uncle was laid to rest at Arlington. RIP Lt Col John Henry Hatcher.

[edit]

and thank you, tbdana.

[harrisonreed]

LITERAL war story:

Even though I was a trombonist, in the military they made me play Taps on a bugle for military funerals. It was Vietnam, and my job was to stand on a hill among the tombstones waiting for my cue, watching an endless parade of identical flag-draped caskets and identical ceremonies, day after day, sometimes multiple times per day, seemingly forever. Only the sobbing, grieving families changed. There would be the gun salute, and then I would play Taps. It's the most pressure on a gig I ever felt, because I wanted to get it exactly right for the endless procession of grieving families, and I wasn't even a trumpet player. I did so many of those identical funerals it became overwhelming and oppressive, and gave me nightmares. You can only deal with so much endless tragedy and grief without it affecting you. I still have those nightmares, sometimes, to this day.

Many of my bugler friends have expressed that this is the most meaningful task that they have to do, musically. The families certainly appreciated your dedication to playing to the best of your abilities, whether they actively thought it or not.

[Posaunus]

Because I happen to own a WWII U.S. Army bugle, I have now twice been asked to play at the memorial services for a couple of friends. It's very emotional - about the hardest notes I've ever played (while choking back tears).

But a real bugle, even as pedestrianly as I play it, is far superior to the shiny electronic toy gadget, with its tinny loudspeaker, that the official U.S. Military Color Guard squads bring to funerals these days.

[harrisonreed]

Because I happen to own a WWII U.S. Army bugle, I have now twice been asked to play at the memorial services for a couple of friends. It's very emotional - about the hardest notes I've ever played (while choking back tears).

But a real bugle, even as pedestrianly as I play it, is far superior to the shiny electronic toy gadget, with its tinny loudspeaker, that the official U.S. Military Color Guard squads bring to funerals these days.

Military Bands make every possible effort to provide a live bugler, as long as the request is made. Across every branch, active, reserve, and guard. If an E-Bugle is there, it is likely no request for support was made, and that is a shame.

[2bobone]

In 2012, I participated in a ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery that commemorated the 150th anniversary of the tradition of playing "Taps" for military functions. A retired U.S Air Force bugler, Yari Villanueva, put a tremendous amount of effort into the occasion which included a large number of buglers from all across the USA. After the official ceremony, the buglers [many in period dress] dispersed throughout the cemetery to pre-appointed locations. At the stroke of Noon, a chapel bell rang which was a signal to the buglers to begin to play "Taps" at random intervals. I was driving through the cemetery at the time and the experience of hearing overlapping versions of the piece was overwhelming. A unique sign of respect for our fallen heroes. Not a "loser" nor a "sucker" among them !

[Posaunus]

In 2012, I participated in a ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery that commemorated the 150th anniversary of the tradition of playing "Taps" for military functions. A retired U.S Air Force bugler, Yari Villanueva, put a tremendous amount of effort into the occasion which included a large number of buglers from all across the USA. After the official ceremony, the buglers [many in period dress] dispersed throughout the cemetery to pre-appointed locations. At the stroke of Noon, a chapel bell rang which was a signal to the buglers to begin to play "Taps" at random intervals. I was driving through the cemetery at the time and the experience of hearing overlapping versions of the piece was overwhelming. A unique sign of respect for our fallen heroes. Not a "loser" nor a "sucker" among them !

Amen!

[Doug Elliott]

Jari Villanueva (pronounced "Yari" but not spelled that way) is very active in bugling, history, and reenactments.
At the time I auditioned for the Airmen of Note, I was playing 6 nights a week in a swing band that he ran.

[harrisonreed]

In 2012, I participated in a ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery that commemorated the 150th anniversary of the tradition of playing "Taps" for military functions. A retired U.S Air Force bugler, Yari Villanueva, put a tremendous amount of effort into the occasion which included a large number of buglers from all across the USA. After the official ceremony, the buglers [many in period dress] dispersed throughout the cemetery to pre-appointed locations. At the stroke of Noon, a chapel bell rang which was a signal to the buglers to begin to play "Taps" at random intervals. I was driving through the cemetery at the time and the experience of hearing overlapping versions of the piece was overwhelming. A unique sign of respect for our fallen heroes. Not a "loser" nor a "sucker" among them !

That's interesting. The DoD regulation generally does not permit "echo taps". Were they civilians?

[2bobone]

"Jari Villanueva (pronounced "Yari" but not spelled that way) -----------"
Oops ! I spelled Jari's name incorrectly and apologize for the error. I'm afraid that my memory is not 100% in such matters, Dug.
The assembled buglers were a blend of all ages, sexes and talents. I suppose some were military retirees but don't recall any restrictions on being a participant. I think the goal was to maximize the numbers. Perhaps Jari might chime in with details ?

[AndrewMeronek]

Ah, the stories here warm my heart with familiarity.

I have a simple weather-related one: a few years ago I was part of a big band outdoor gig at the Detroit Zoo. It was on a mobile stage. About 30 seconds after our first tune started, we got absolutely pounded by a wall of rain. I happened to be on a part of the stage that only got a little drenched. Over on the West side, where our rhythm section was, our bassist and pianist looked like they just too an extended dive into a lake, and so did their instruments.

That storm pretty much came out of nowhere. It was generally half-grey and half-sunny with nimbus-like clouds interspersed across the sky, but no obvious downpours before we started and no storm alerts.

I was amazed after we took a break and cleaned up, that the keyboard and bass amp still worked.

[Mr412]

I was sitting at a very prestigious gig once, waiting for the downbeat, when I discovered that I forgot to wear my pants. That happen to anybody else?

[imsevimse]

I was sitting at a very prestigious gig once, waiting for the downbeat, when I discovered that I forgot to wear my pants. That happen to anybody else?

That has happened, but only in nightmares

/Tom

[harrisonreed]

I was sitting at a very prestigious gig once, waiting for the downbeat, when I discovered that I forgot to wear my pants. That happen to anybody else?

For real?!

[officermayo]

Played trombone in a large church youth group that traveled a lot back in the mid 70s. Mostly we performed in other churches, at Disney World, etc. One gig was at Julia Tutwiler prison for women near Montgomery, Al. The piano in the gym we played in was so far out of tune that I had to pull my tuning slide out that it was barely connected to the bell and then play every position down one.

[tbdana]

I'm about to have a new war story. I have a gig Saturday morning. But the weather isn't going to cooperate. I live above the snow line and the gig is 50 miles away, below the snow line, and this is what they are saying about the weather in my area for Saturday and my prospects for driving to and from the gig.

Screen Shot 2024-02-28 at 7.47.18 AM.png

The gig is actually the sole rehearsal before multiple performances, and it pays very well. It starts at 10am on Saturday. By the time I'd leave to go to the gig there would be only about 3-4 inches of snow on the ground. That's drivable. But there will be blizzard and white-out conditions on the road. And by the time I got home there would be over a foot of snow on the ground, not something I can drive through. And the rural road I live on is way down on the list of roads to plow.

All in all, my area is forecast to get between 4 and 12 FEET of snow between today and Sunday.

[Doug Elliott]

If it pays really well and you really want to do it, I'd go early and make a 2 or 3 day trip out of it. Otherwise arrange for a sub. Not worth risking bigger problems.

A rehearsal and multiple performances... I'd make a trip out of it. I've already done that twice this winter, and I'll be going to Florida 2 more times for just 3 gigs each trip. Paid vacation.

Find a cheap AirBnB.

[tbdana]

If it pays really well and you really want to do it, I'd go early and make a 2 or 3 day trip out of it. Otherwise arrange for a sub. Not worth risking bigger problems.

Yeah, those were my two choices. I have a gig in the same area Friday night. I was thinking of staying over Friday night and probably Saturday, as well. But I chose to have a sub on stand-by. It's looking like my sub will be doing the Saturday gig.

[tbdana]

My friend and I tossed our trombones into the trunk of the world's ugliest car, a green Plymouth Roadrunner that I had bought for next to nothing at an auction...



...and drove it from California to the Navy School of Music at Little Creek, Norfolk, VA, where I was being stationed.



We got our horns out and played duets for passers by at every stop we made, usually getting amused or annoyed looks, and occasionally meeting some nice people. In Nashville, we met prostitutes whom we serenaded while they were trolling for customers.

When I left the Navy school, my father asked me to sell the car and fly home because he didn't want me driving cross-country alone, without my companion. So I sold the car, checked my King 2B with the airline, and never saw it again.

When I reported for duty at my new assignment, I didn't even own a trombone.

[harrisonreed]

I made that trip to the Army School of Music almost 12 years ago from Alaska, flying to the ASOM with my 88H and 36H in a Tank case, along with all my issued TA-50 (I already had been in for three years before switching to Army Music).

I showed up with three duffle bags and this humongous metal Tank and the desk officer was like "what's with all that crap? You get lost on your way back from Afghanistan?".

[JohnL]

In Nashville, we met prostitutes whom we serenaded while they were trolling for customers.

Please, please, PLEASE tell me that you played at least a few bars of Love for Sale!

[AndrewMeronek]

Yesterday had an outdoor, evening gig where storms rolled in about 15 minutes before we ended. And proceeded to rain - a strong downpour - for about 2 hours. My car was parked a solid quarter mile away from the venue, and the parking lot where I was parked did not have good drainage.

I got myself wet. It was either that or wait and lose sleep.

Not as interesting as some other stories here, but weather events disrupting a gig are actually not as common as one might think.

[RobL]

I was set to play Octandre on an all-Varèse program at UGA decades ago. Arrived early enough at the chapel, but found that I hadn't put my mouthpiece back in the case after cleaning it. No worries; my selection was 2nd on the program and the Fine Arts Bldg wasn't all that far away. As I was walking back unhurriedly toward the chapel, I started to be met by percussionists walking the other way. I hadn't thought of how Ionisation (the first piece on the program) was only 5 mins! I didn't take the extra time to walk around to the back of the building to enter, but took the most direct route down the center aisle. The other 7 players and the conductor were settled on stage, and as I approached, the large audience applauded in relief. I took a bow, sat down and tuned, and off we went. I don't think I've ever received as much applause as an individual since then!

[MrHCinDE]

Not my story (there are plenty but the best come from my Dad) but there is a very well known story on the U.K. circuit about about a chap who was asked to play the Euphonium part in the “Bydlo” movement of Ravel’s orchestration of Mussorgsky’s “Pictures from an Exhibition”.

Said player did the dress rehearsal, then (as is expected) went to the pub. At some point much later one of his drinking buddies asked him why he was in full dress for a concert at which point said player panicked and ran to the Festival Hall. Luckily he made it in time for the interval when PfaE was in the second half. Unfortunately it was a champagne reception at the interval to celebrate some anniversary - no food, just booze. Said player indulged then went in to play the second half. Allegedly he played the whole part a fourth out and then passed out in his chair. He was woken up for the applause at which point he stood up and raised the Euphonium over his head in triumph, and then fell back asleep.

Like many stories I’m pretty sure this has been embellished throughout the years. I’ve always wondered whether there was a kernel of truth at the bottom of it however. Given my old experience of the U.K. (and particularly the London) scene it would not surprise me…

I think I’ve heard this one, or something very similar.

The worst I’ve witnessed or been involved in personally was:

I played a university ball with a big band, ordered a tray of 20 pints for the band, as was customary just before closing time and the rest of the band vanished, apart from one other trombonist, leaving us to deal with with most of them. It was a long night and I crashed at his place in town. The next day I woke up on a sofa in a dinner suit minutes before we were both due at the final practice for a a requiem in the cathedral. Luckily I had my bone still from the previous night and on first sight it might have seemed I was just well prepared for the evening concert by wearing my suit. On closer inspection, by either sight or smell, the truth was clear. I didn’t have any music so had to play as much as possible from memory. I won’t be repeating that one any time soon.

[JohnL]

...the world's ugliest car, a green Plymouth Roadrunner...

Clearly you've led a sheltered life if you think there isn't a car uglier than a Road Runner.

I give you the AMC Matador coupe:

matador.jpeg

[tbdana]

Not my story (there are plenty but the best come from my Dad) but there is a very well known story on the U.K. circuit about about a chap who was asked to play the Euphonium part in the “Bydlo” movement of Ravel’s orchestration of Mussorgsky’s “Pictures from an Exhibition”. ...

[cut]

Reminds me of a story I had while playing with Al Hirt in 1980. We had a gig in Florida somewhere. Jumbo -- which was Al's nickname, as he was a very large man -- had been out on a boat during the day and had been drinking. He injured his back and took some pain meds on top of the alcohol. And then he drank some more after getting back to the hotel.

Unbeknownst to the band, when the gig came, Jumbo was completely wasted.

As usual, the band started with a bright tune at the top of the show, and then played Jumbo's intro. Jumbo was supposed to dash onto the stage and play some screaming technical stuff, but he didn't appear at his cue, so we had to vamp while the band manager tried to figure out where Jumbo was. Eventually Jumbo came staggering onto the stage and then immediately lost it and fell into the band. He was set to wipe out the whole band on his way down, but the bass trombonist (Rich Bullock) caught Jumbo, and he and the band manager managed to get Jumbo on his feet again, at which point he made his way to the front of the stage to perform.

But it was all for nothing, as Al Hirt couldn't get through a single tune. Nor could he finish a sentence. The audience -- which had paid good money to see the show -- booed him mercilessly, until the guy in charge of the venue shut down the show.

We had a run at this place, and I was sure we were going to lose the gig, but we played the next night and everything was normal. We all breathed a collective sigh of relief and finished the run.

Somehow, Rich Bullock managed to keep Jumbo from wiping out, and managed to protect his horn in the process. It was an exciting gig. LOL!

[tbdana]

And then there was the time in Montreal City with Harry James, who got into a disagreement with the audience and screamed at them, "We're used to playing for audiences with class! You've got class, but it's out your ass!" At which point pandemonium ensued, and we literally had to sneak out of town because it blew up on the local news and they were gettin' the pitchforks out for us.

Earlier that day at the hotel at breakfast, Harry had complained to the staff about getting "eggs and abuse" for breakfast, so I guess we should have known something was coming later on.

[tbdana]

...the world's ugliest car, a green Plymouth Roadrunner...

Clearly you've led a sheltered life if you think there isn't a car uglier than a Road Runner.

I give you the AMC Matador coupe:
matador.jpeg

I concede!!!!

[tbdana]

I just have to tell you this story about Gerald from my gig tonight. Let me set the stage first...

This was a gig at a winery with a funk/rock/soul band that's a bunch of middle age guys. Sounds lame, right? It's not. This band is very good, super aggressive, and incredibly tight. The musicans come from bands named Tower of Power, Cold Blood, Chicago, Aretha Franklin, etc. Great band. And the energy is so powerful it just picks you up and carries you. And did I mention they're incredibly tight and aggressive? Yeah. High level playing. Definitely not a bar band.

And then there's Gerald.

Gerald owns a saxophone. He's a little old man, and I mean old like Noah. Dude is frail, bent over, and looks 920 years old. He needed help up onto the bandstand, which was a single step of 7". Someone had to bring his saxes to him. Everyone else stood, but Gerald sat in a chair to play. I'm thinking, "What the hell is this guy doing here?"

The gig starts and we play a couple tunes, and I don't even hear Gerald. All of us standing, except for frail old Gerald sitting in his chair. I forget all about him as I'm sight reading the charts. Then, on about the third tune, there's a sax solo.

OH. MY. EFFING. GAWD!!!!

Gerald belts out this incredible solo! HUGE sound! Great licks! Tons of soul!!! Just amazing, and super aggressive. My jaw was on the floor. I'm like, "No way. This can't be real. This is impossible. That sound cannot come from that man. I must be hallucinating." It was awesome!

He plays a couple more great solos on other tunes, and then all of a sudden in the middle of the last tune of the first set he leans over to me and says, "Dana, take my solo." Members of band look at each other and someone says, "Gerald NEVER gives away solos."

So I play his solo, the set ends, and Gerald says, "Help me. Help." I turn to look and he's ghost white, his lips are blue, his eyes are kind of rolled back, and he's incoherent. Can't answer questions.

Two band members help him off the bandstand and sit Gerald down, putting his feet up. I take his pulse. It's fast and thready. It's also 95 degrees out. So, we get him a bottle of emergency oxygen and I put a bag of ice on his neck and start rubbing his arms and legs to get the blood flowing. By the end of the break he has color back in his face and he's talking normally. "I feel better," Gerald says. "Let's go play the second set."
To which the bandleader wisely says, "No. You're done for tonight."

So the rest of us leave Gerald sitting behind the bandstand, his feet up, his bottle of oxygen and an ice cold water, and we start the second set. "Dana, you take Gerald's solos," I'm told.

Several tunes into the second set we play the old Blood, Sweat & Tears arrangement of "God Bless The Child." This starts as a slow soul groove, goes into a Latin double-time groove and then breaks out into a blazing fast double-time swing groove that has an alto sax solo.

In the middle of the tune, Gerald staggers onto the stage, taking hits off the oxygen bottle along the way like it's a bong, and gingerly makes his way to his chair, where he lowers himself and slowly picks up his sax. Gerald takes another couple hits off the oxy-bong, and then sits there, waiting. As the tune goes, Gerald slowly leans back in his chair, his head goes back, and his eyes close. He looks like he's either asleep or in distress.

And then the alto sax solo comes. And Gerald rises from the dead and plays the most AMAZING, MASTERFUL, ENERGETIC, HUGE solo I've ever heard. I mean, it was truly masterful bebop. Blew me away.
And then he needed help off the stage again, and sat out the rest of the gig.

Afterward, I'm like, "Who the hell is this old dude?"

Well, it turns out Gerald not only has chops, he has history. Dude played with Tower of Power, Santana, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Blood, Sweat and Tears, the Who and the list goes on. Dude's got a tremendous resumé. And he has just enough left in him to remind us all of who he is. He still has a HUGE sound, which sounds like it couldn't possibly come from his frail little body.

In talking with Gerald after the gig, he said to me, "You guys were having so much fun I couldn't stand not being up there. And I really like that solo," which now I'm guessing he must have played when he was with Blood, Sweat & Tears. So up on stage he came, to give the last bit of himself. And it was incredible. I have so much respect for him. I had been whining about the heat and telling myself I didn't want to take these kinds of gigs anymore, and here's Gerald, seeming like he's on death's door, dragging his oxygen bottle on stage to wow me with an unbelievable solo. That man loves what he does and gives his all, and I'm going to take a lesson from it.

More of a gig from hell for Gerald than me. LOL! For me, it was a moment that I will remember the rest of my life. I'm just glad I got to meet Gerald.

[JohnL]

Dana, I saw something similar the last couple times Dick Nash played with Bones West. He was having trouble getting around and his eyesight was such that he really couldn't read the music - but put trombone in his hands and a rhythm section behind him and none of that mattered any more.

[Posaunus]

Dana, I saw something similar the last couple times Dick Nash played with Bones West. He was having trouble getting around and his eyesight was such that he really couldn't read the music - but put trombone in his hands and a rhythm section behind him and none of that mattered any more.

Amen. That was an experience I'll never forget!